THE 7 TYPES OF HOME OWNERS I HAVE SEEN #UjenziBora

The 7 Types of Home Owners I have seen #UjenziBora

1. The Flipper

He pumps money into real estate, lets it marinate and quickly flips the property.

They know money is in the game. They are not interested in home ownership but in selling products to The Forgetful Jew.

He is at the exact opposite side of The Forgetful Jew. Though he befriends the banks, his lot is happy. He makes the real money out of real estate.

2. The Holylander

He adores the Nature of things. Wildness for him is the in thing. For him there is no question of home ownership as he considers himself an Adam of some sort. he feels part and parcel of the scheme of things. For him, to be in the city is the same as being by the village river. He sees no difference between human traffic and the migration of the wild beasts at the Mara.

As Thoreau put it in his extreme essay titled Walking,

“sans terre without land or a home, which, therefore, in the good sense, will mean, having no particular home, but equally at home everywhere.

He who sits still in a house all the time may be the greatest vagrant of all; but the saunterer, in the good sense, is no more vagrant than the meandering river, which is all the while sedulously seeking the shortest course to the sea.”

This world is not their home. They are simply at Peace with the things that the Hand has dealt to them.

They are looking for the Holy Land living one day at a time. Maybe i quote Jesus here, “Foxes have holes but the son of man has nowhere to lay his head”

3. The Clouds Speculator

Two words may tell much about this ones- Vague and Ambiguous.

I tend to compare them to the clouds.

In the clouds it is hard to see the exact form of things. Everything seems vague; the imagination runs wild, seeing things that are not there.

We can safely say they have lost their way in the dream of Home Ownership.

They don’t even discuss it.

They have made up their minds; don’t dare confuse them with facts!!!

4. The Dual Strategist

On Friday, to be precise, they board the next matatu to the village.

They are torn between the city and the other place. Constantly seeking the accolades and good humour of the villagers, he is continually renovating and remodeling the Isimba. It now affords a portico, a balcony and the next strategy is to get a sketch from his Architect friend to add a Bedroom and Dormer windows to the Isimba.

It is not surprising to find them at loggerheads with their fellow villagers on the positioning of the Sisal Beacons that the Fathers planted to mark the boundaries.

5. The Forgetful Jew

He buys without money, always mortgaging his existence. The Bankers love him for he is their bread winner.

He loves and covets new mortgage products in the market.

Surely he pays a mortgage higher than the rent he would have afforded were he  to have chosen the common path.

Currently, he is playing the balancing act, not sure whether to rent out his “home” or live in it. His hands are full of bank products

6. The Shrewd Heir

I would call him the Solomon type. He has sat down with himself and decided 70 years is a very short time. He thinks like an economist, he lives his life in the short-run. He believes the gods are too mean to grant him 80 years to be alive and so he places his bet in inheriting the property of those who went before him.

He builds no house of his own. Others have worked and he enters their labor.

He owns houses he did not build, mansions he knows not from whence they came

7. The Confused One

He is always chasing the elusive dream. Neigh! They are builders. Real investors and capital injectors but all they manage to build are the Abunwasi-Type Castles-in-the-air.

I once met a man who bought all the mortice-locks and One door to his imaginary home.

Their dreams of owning a home are forever lulled by the prospect of a secure Company Housing scheme. These one it is set by the gods they shall retire poor, yet rich in their dreams. Their fate is sealed!

Their ideal home is buried in disappointment, always lurking underneath.

Just my wild thoughts, I wonder where my lot lies…

David Nahinga

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~ by ujenzibora on July 5, 2010.

7 Responses to “THE 7 TYPES OF HOME OWNERS I HAVE SEEN #UjenziBora”

  1. Nice one. I very much like the ‘The-Confused-One’, reflects quite some people am well acquinted with. But its ‘The-Forgetful-Jew’ who takes the biscuit. Nice post.

    • Haha,
      Thanks. Actually i have met and lived with some of these people in real-time.
      They are quite a fabric to ponder, am sure with time we shall meet more.

      I find the dreams of “The Cloud Speculator” quite intriguing.
      Architects have the hardest time dealing with them but they never pay.
      If only we knew they were but dreamers!!!
      Regards
      @UjenziBora

  2. Hehe!
    I think The Confused One is the most common type. I’ve encountered so many of them. Sad case, really.

    • Hehe!,
      Thanks for passing by. Very true what you say…
      Their fate is sealed but the agony is that they cannot see it.
      Every waking moment,they dream….The Confused Ones
      Regards

  3. hehehe I like the flipper if only there were many who had such a biz sense..and whts an isimba? I like it, tells u alot on wht nt to be in real estate in very simple language. God forbid I be a ‘forgetful jew’ or a ‘confused one’

    • Hi Nymmoh,
      Thanks for passing by. An isimba is a small hut built by the boys when they come of age.
      They build it to “step out” of their mamas house.
      What happens is that there are those who remain 18-till-they-die and keep
      on improving, renovating and re-modelling this huts.
      They add a Kitchenette here, a store there and even a master bedroom making the small
      piece of Architecture disappear in the process.
      It is like directly applying the Kidogo Kidogo Hujaza Kibaba in Construction
      Cheers
      @UjenziBora

  4. […] my previous post titled “The 7 types of HomeOwners i have seen“, i laid down what i considered to be the form and nature of the behavior of those who seek […]

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